The exact day...

Yesterday, at the Hyatt Regency in downtown Austin, I ministered a wedding.  The groom was born on the exact day of my wedding, November 26, 1988.  In a way, it made me feel old, but not in a bad way.

Of the 200+ weddings I've officiated, this groom was among the youngest, at age 23.  Most of my weddings are for couples around 30, on up to 50's and 60's.

It meant that Lundin and Jodie's parents and I were the same age.  But as later-in-life parents, my children are 15 and 13, so it'll be a good number of years until my girls walk down the aisle.  (And I like it that way!)  It was a little strange knowing that, since Jasmine is just a few days from being 16, she is only 7 years younger than the groom.  Seems to soon to me.

Age.  I can say that I feel comfortable with the age I am.  I don't wish I was younger, or older.  (However, in a few years I'll be getting those 55-and-over discounts at restaurants and theaters, which will be sweeeeeet...)

Today, I'm sitting with my family around the Christmas tree we just decorated, and I'm thankful for everything, including my years on this earth.

blessings,
John

Shawn & Lorraine Bradley's wedding

Hello gang,

Tonight I was glad to minister the Bradley wedding at Vintage Villas, on Eck Lane in Austin.   It was held outdoors at sunset, overlooking Lake Travis.  (Photo from the Vintage Villas web page.)

I have done some 50 weddings at Vintage Villas over the years.  A couple of months ago I stayed at their Bed & Breakfast hotel on the property, where I took this picture on the balcony with my iPhone:

Several of the wedding guests this evening asked me where I pastor a church.  Actually, my primary ministry is as a hospice chaplain with Odyssey Hospice in Austin.  It is good and rewarding ministry.  Yet having weddings to officiate occasionally is a nice, happy counterpart to the sometimes challenging hospice work that I do.

I also sometimes give guest sermons at Unity churches, and you can watch a video or listen to an audio at one of these sites.  Just scroll down to see me in a screen shot, or look for my name in their list of past services.

http://www.downtownunity.org/videopage.html

http://www.unitycenteraustin.org/   (here you can find my sermons under #16 "Divine Complements", or #21 "Who are You?")

blessings,

John

A country feel right in Austin for your wedding: Mercury Hall

Last Saturday I ministered the wedding for Scott and Anna at Mercury Hall.  While not far from Ben White and S. First Street, it's four acres makes you feel like you are out in the country.  And the hall, a former church building moved from little Mercury, Texas back in the 90's, has a feeling of substance and charm.

While you can get married in the Hall, most couples choose to have their ceremony outdoors on the lawn by the trees, and have their reception inside.  Prices for Saturday weddings, based on the time of year, are $3400 and up, but weddings on other days can be less than half that much.

I've probably officiated 15 or more weddings at Mercury Hall over the years, and they've all turned out lovely.  (When you want an outdoor wedding, it's always best to choose a site, such as Mercury Hall, that has the indoor option for when it rains.)

Their website is here for more information.  http://mercuryhall.com/index.htm

blessings,
John
Rev. John Connor

You CAN go home again...

Last weekend, I went "home" to New Hampshire, and visited with some old friends and family.  We gathered at the site of a spiritual community where I spent part of my childhood and teen years. Inspired by the 23rd Psalm, the community was called, "Green Pastures."  Most of us present, including my brother, Cliffe, had been there in the 1960's and 70's, but there were also a good number who lived and studied there in the 80's and 90's, too.

Around the year 2000, the community disbanded.  But in the last couple of years, a small group of us reconnected.  (Thank you, Facebook!)  The property is now a mixed use facility for, among others, a day program for adults with Autism, and a performing arts theater.  It has been re-named "Verdant Pastures."  Last weekend was the second time in a year that several dozen friends visited, and this time we volunteered to do a bit of clean up.  It was an amazingly beautiful and warm October day.

(Glenn Kikel, Ross Morrison [an original Green Pastures resident, 1963] and Brett Spaulding)

Then we had a spontaneous concert in the Leddy Center Theatre (formerly our chapel).  It was special that one of the guys, Jim Paine, who helped build the beautiful chapel was there, and played guitar.  We sang old songs by The Beatles, Crosby, Stills, & Nash, and Shake Russell & Dana Cooper.  (And yes, a hymn as well.)

(John Connor, Jim Paine, James Eifling)

The idea that "you can't go home again" springs from the idea -- true -- that home is not the same when you return.  But when you knew real brotherly and sisterly love, you may find that, even after all the years have passed, that it's still there in your heart -- vibrant, funny, and sweet. It is my hope that all of you know that love.

Next blog post will have some helpful wedding resources, and insights on wedding facilities.

bye for now,
John

Unity Candle, or Unity Sand for your wedding?

Today I want to tell you about the Unity Candle and the Unity Sand ceremonies as possible parts of your wedding.  These ceremonies provide a beautiful visual symbol of the joining of the couple's lives together.

For the Unity Candle, the Bride and Groom's mothers will each light a taper candle at the front of the venue, when they are walked down the aisle.  These two candles frame a central candle.  During the ceremony, I announce that, "The couple will now light the Unity Candle, symbolizing the joining of their lives and families together."  Then the Bride and Groom each take their candle and light the central, Unity candle.  Often they will then each blow out their candle, so the focus goes to the light on the Unity candle.

For any outdoor wedding, I recommend doing the Unity Sand ceremony.  Because even in the middle of a still, hot summer day in Texas, there is often a tiny breeze the will blow the candles out.  With Unity Sand, instead of the taper candles, there are tall cylindrical glass tube vases that contain sand -- one color for the Bride and a different color for the Groom.  During the Unity San ceremony, the couple pour the sand from their small vases into a larger central vase.  The sand mixes together, creating a design that is unique to the couple.  The central Unity vase can be kept on the couple's mantle as a memento of the wedding.

Supplies for these ceremonies can be had a stores like Michael's, or can be ordered online.

USEFUL TIP: The Unity ceremony of either type only takes 30 seconds to a minute, so you might want to pick music to be played during it that can be turned down whenever the ritual is finished.  Some couples have chosen, say, a four minute song to play during the ritual, and they've felt a bit awkward when so much song was left to play, and they were just standing there.

On the other hand, you should have the ceremony that you want, no matter how long it takes.

blessings to you,
John
John@ReverendConnor.com

Dogs in the wedding, continued...

Okay, so the dogs did a great job as Flower Girl and Ring Bearer last Saturday.  The Flower Girl had a wreath of roses around her neck, and of course the Ring Bearer had the little pillow with the rings on it around his neck.  The Ring Bearer was a pit bull, I think, and the other dog a mix of a couple of breeds.

With the exception of a brief whine, they were both quiet and well-behaved during the ceremony, albeit with a bit of bouncing around on their adolescent leash-holders, which made the bride laugh.
The wedding was at One World Theatre, but actually held outside on the patio, and the theatre itself was used as the reception venue.

Most importantly -- congratulations on your new married life together, Mr. and Mrs. Brett and Shae Vaughn!

You can check out the location here: http://www.oneworldtheatre.org/home.html

And since I mentioned Vintage Villas in an earlier post, you can check that out here:
http://www.vintagevillas.com/

blessings,
John

Thinking of having an unusual element in your wedding?

Hi gang,

This weekend I'll be ministering at a wedding at One World Theatre.  It's a beautiful facility out on 2244/BeeCaves Road, and it's primarily a music and performing arts space.  I've done several wedding's there over the years, and they've been lovely.  

At this wedding, the flower "girl" and ring-bearer are going to be dogs!  They are the happy couple's dogs, apparently well-behaved, yet the couple is aware that the dogs may not cooperate exactly as they'd like.  Fortunately, they have a good-natured attitude about that.

You should feel free to have special or unusual elements in your wedding, as long as you aren't "perfectionistic" about the outcome.  As long as the bride and groom are relaxed about any potential mis-steps that may come up if, say, you have canines in your wedding party, you and your guests will have a great wedding.

blessings,

John

At 15...

Sometimes this blog won't be about weddings.  This is one of those times, inspired during a drive today along a Texas country road, memories swirling...

At 15, there's a sadness that is always just there.  There are good times, too -- random moments of thrill.  Then there's loneliness -- at 15 I moved from New Hampshire to Texas, a continent away from any friend.  There are 1,000 reasons for the mid-teen melancholy, but I think it's mainly the dying of the last vestiges of childhood, that fall away in pieces like glaciers calving in the arctic.  Each piece is beautiful, and we mourn them as they fall, mystified that they don't quite attach anymore.

The only suture to these open wounds is music.  (I don't know what kids did before records.)

For me, what I did in the Fall/fall of 1975 is come home from school, walk into our trailer in Humble Texas, lay down on the brown shag carpet, and put on the album "Souvenirs" by Dan Fogelberg.

Wedding planning tip

One thing I've noticed consistently in my brides over the years is this: a bride always has a better, more joyful time at her own wedding when she has a Wedding Coordinator.  Always.

I say this not because I want you to hire some coordinator that I know -- I'm not even going to recommend anyone in particular.  It's just that I've seen it so frequently: when I see a bride can sit and smile and laugh with her bridesmaids and relatives before the wedding, and happily greet guests during the reception, I know she has a professional coordinator.

Think about it -- you don't want to be the hostess of your wedding, you want to be the princess at your wedding.  No matter what your budget is, you are spending a good deal of money (and time!) planning your wedding day.  So there's no reason that you should be worrying about what time the florist gets there, if the staffing is right for the catering, if your groom's friends will stop cutting up and get in their tuxes, and a thousand other details that someone needs to handle.

Let a planner worry about it.

"Sounds good, John, but how much does it cost?"

Price ranges are wide, as are the amount of time and services provided to you.  What I'd like to suggest is that the minimum service of a coordinator will get you a happy relaxing wedding day -- this is often called a "day of" package.  Meaning instead of working with you doing all the advance planning and work choosing vendors, themes, decorating, and so on, the Planner is just there for your wedding day.  This sometimes includes the Planner running the Rehearsal the night before.  A package like this can be had for $500 -- $600 in many cases.

"Yeah, but can't I have my Mom, or sister, or friend from college do it?"

Yes, you can.  And for a back yard wedding, or when there is just no money available, that is the route you will take.  The upside is that this choice is free.  Free is good.  The downside is that, however much this volunteer coordinator loves you, they are "doing you a favor."  You won't feel permission to be as specific and, if necessary, demanding of what you want.  Even though your relative or friend may have been a part of numerous weddings, they don't have the same knowledge, contacts, systems, and confidence that a professional planner does.

I'm not saying you can't have an enjoyable wedding if you don't have a Coordinator.  But I am saying to use one if at all possible.

blessings,
John

My first wedding blog

Hi, I'm John Connor (yes, like in the Terminator movies :), and this blog is about weddings, and how the minister and ceremony fit into your day.  And some other stuff, probably.  I enjoy humor, so you'll find that in my posts, too.
 A bit about me and weddings: I'm married to another minister, Rev. Bonnie Connor, and we share the www.ReverendConnor.com site.  Both of us are full-time hospice chaplains, and we both minister at weddings.
It has been 10 years that I have been officiating at weddings, and I stopped counting at over 200 ceremonies performed.  So, I'm pretty experienced.  I can be a good resource not only for questions about ceremonies, but I have officiated at many wedding facilities around the Austin area, and would be happy to comment on some of them.
Today I'll tell you about one:  Vintage Villas.  This lovely facility for an outdoor wedding overlooking Lake Travis (but that also has elegant indoor facilities in case of rain) is the location of one of my first weddings.  The location, amenities, and great staff of wedding coordinators is top notch.
blessings,
John
Rev. John Connor
John@ReverendConnor.com